Bathroom Remodeling
by RandomDarkness
Summary: Alice and Hatter are making a life for themselves, and try though he might, Hatter can't seem to do the right thing all the time. Alice tried getting angry... but that was stupid. Lemons


Hot, running water was a wonderful thing. Showers hadn't really been all that big in Wonderland, bath's were it and that was fine. Got you mostly clean and everything, but there was something amazing about having hot, clean water wash the dirt and soap away and poof, it was gone, down the drain never to make you feel grimy again! Hatter wasn't overly obsessed with cleanliness, not really. Showers were just one of the things that stood out to him as being different... different from his own world...

He hadn't had any massive difficulties, coming to 'Earth' to live with Alice. ohhh the odd debacle when his sledgehammer hand caused a bit more damage than was... you know... physically possible, but those had been sorted out. Alice would grin a cheeky little grin and tell people 'he works out'. Hatter wasn't sure what that meant exactly but the men all raised eyebrows and the women... well it was obvious what they were thinking and it unnerved him just a bit. Alice didn't seem to run to jealousy though, she rather enjoyed showing him off in a 'ha ha this is mine and you can't have any' kind of a way. Hatter found he didn't mind either, there was something perversely gratifying about being someone's arm candy.

Soap that came from a pump pack still blew his mind! You squirt a little bit out and rub your hands together, instant suds! Brilliant. He was in the middle of doing the soaping thing when the shower door opened, and a pretty girl in... nothing at all... stepped inside and closed the door again behind her.

'Ah... You... hi." Hatter was grinning.

For some reason, Hatter's reaction to Alice's naked body never seemed to be quite right. Not... lecherous enough or lustful enough... he reminded her more of women seeing a male stripper, giggly and aroused but not really dirty in anyway. He touched her like that too, like he KNOWS it's naughty.

"Hi yourself," Alice scoops some soap from the left side of his chest and starts to scrub her own shoulders and chest.

Hatter is transfixed, pinned like a bug on a board. There may be something slightly lustful and lecherous about his eyes now... Alice pretends not to notice. She will get him, oh yes she'll get him this time. For some reason, Hatter never starts it. Never just reaches over and touches her, closes distance and kisses her, never initiates the damn sex! It got to the point where Alice was starting to wonder if maybe he wasn't as into her as he'd first thought... maybe he was just to nice to say no but he really didn't want too... that idea of course was stupid. A couple of days of thinking about it had led to a different conclusion. Maybe he was trying to be polite? You know, let the lady take the lead, not give in to his animal urges and all that rot. That's all lovely, but sometimes a woman just wants to know she drives her man nuts! Hence, naked in the shower, provoking for all she was worth, while insisting on pretending that she wasn't starting anything.

With a slightly painfully strained look, Hatter leaned against the wall and watched helplessly as his shower was co opted by a beautiful naked woman who rubbed soap suds all over her body and... and ignored him! He wanted to cry! What had he done to deserve... ohhh that's still the best bottom in the world... this!

"Do you?" Alice asked casually.

"Hmmm?" Hatter nearly jumped out of his skin, Alice never talked like that! OH! The soooooap, right. Ya, I'm not a filthy nasty evil man, I'm not... it's the soap. See. Soap. Clean. "Uh, sure."

To his helpless embarrassment, things were beginning to happen. Warm, wet, slippery little hands were moving around on his chest... chest chest I can handle this. No problem. Ohh stomach. Over the slight discolorations left by the cattle prods where she lingered for a moment... then lower. Hatter coughed a little tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling. There was no mistaking that... no. No, not explaining that away... God she just wants to have a nice moment in the shower and then there's THAT. He couldn't help it, but while he was the only one who knew, well who did it harm? The truth of it was he was constantly like that when he looked at her. He'd quite happily keep them in bed and make love to her till he starved.

"Hatter..." oh bugger here it comes. Control yourself man! "Hatter!" Damn, she sounded irritated, he hated it when she sounded like that.

He let his chin fall to his chest and looked at her through his lashes, abashed and embarrassed. "I'm sorry..." he said his hands fluttering about a bit, unsure where to land, "I just... I mean... you're NAKED and... and wet and then there was touching. I..." he coughed and cleared his throat a little. "Just um... ignore it. It'll go down... uh, eventually."

"For sobbing out loud Hatter, why wont you just touch me?" She stamped her foot, raising a little splash in the shower stall and glared daggers at him, hands fisted on her wet, glistening hips...Gah she's mad and he's still thinking words like 'glistening'. "You're not going to GET a bigger invitation than a woman getting into the shower with you! Why don't you ever just..." her voice trailed off. She was NOT insecure. She wasn't. Just frustrated. People tear up when they're frustrated all the time. "It just always seems like you don't... WANT me all that much..."

Somewhere, something had gone terribly wrong. Hatter wasn't sure how that'd happened but it had, terribly, awfully wrong. He'd always thought his helpless, raging and totally uncontrollable erection had been as painfully obvious to EVERYONE else as it was to him... "Alice... I want you ALL the time."

"Hatter don't,"

"No, no, you don't understand. I really want you ALL the time," he pushed away from the wall, talking with his hands, "I want you in the bed, on the table, last week I wanted you in the used car yard when you kept saying something about a.. a... what was it? A dip stick? I don't even know what that is!" As he moved forward, she moved back until she felt cool tile and the rapidly building pressure of all their pent up misunderstandings. "I want you in the Karate Gi, I want you in those weird off yellow sweat pants that look like a baby pooped on them, I want you in those brown leather boots," His face was so close, he seemed to feel warmer and his eyes were intense, like the floodgates were open and there was no going back. "I want you in that blue dress... the wet one... and... GOD I want you now."

His hands fluttered, almost helplessly about her shoulders. He didn't touch her though, just stared and fluttered and trembled and begged with his eyes. Please, sweet merciful Alice, please tell me it's alright.

Alice bit her bottom lip, eyes wide and heart pounding. "Why don't you ever say...?

He tilted his head sideways and thumped his forehead against the tile next to her and let out a big breath. "I don't tell you when I breathe in and out either...But if I'm doing that, fair bet I'm... he glanced down at himself, still proudly bouncing around, blissfully unaware of the conversation.

It was Alice's turn to beg with her eyes. She gave a little ground, shifted just a little towards him... that was enough. With a pained little groan he closed the gap and kissed her desperately, not fiercely but with enough need to make it seem wild. He scooped her up in his arms, forcing her legs around his waist so he could push her against the wall, hold her up with his right arm and touch her, erratically and uncoordinated with his left hand. Alice whimpered and clung to his shoulders, kissing him back and shifting her hips just enough to feel him against her.

Here, slippery soapy floors became less cool. One foot shifted a little and in a panic Hatter put her down, not wanting them to wind up in a wounded heap... not now! She kissed him a few more times and then, with the wickedest little smile he'd ever seen she turned around and looked over her shoulder at him, bracing her hands on the top of the shower stall and her feet against the edges of the base. Hatter groaned helplessly and moved up behind her, hot water hit his back and sloshed around his shoulders to trickle down between them while Alice struck a tarty little pose to make Hatter's life a bit easier.

Drawn, like a toddler's finger to the electrical socket, Helplessly and with a vague knowledge of the possibility for his own destruction, he pressed himself inside her and tried not to let his knees buckle when she moaned his name.

"Oh, that's... that feels amazing,"

He always talked. Not dirty talk like you might expect, just a running, almost comical commentary on how good everything felt, how great she was, how shy he was, how silly penis' look compared the the great looking business women have. Alice always assumed that eventually he'd get over the novelty and it'd slow down...

"Gah... I really like showers," he groaned against her neck in between nipping and kissing her ear, "You should always shower with me...Mmmmm much more fun when you're here."

Alice couldn't talk. She'd never really been able to answer any of his little comments at times like that. She really couldn't understand where he got the spare oxygen from, all of hers was being used just to keep her conscious. She moaned at him instead and rocked on her heels to push back against him.

That got his attention. His right hand moved up her arm and gripped the top of the shower stall beside her, while his left traveled down, around her hip, to touch her with his characteristic gentle firmness. Caught between surging forward against his fingers and backward against his crotch she twitched and spasmed, whimpered and moaned while his grip on the shower stall tightened. He never, ever held onto her with his right hand.

Long spiels that included the words 'harder', 'faster', 'more', and 'don't stop', tumbled through Alice's head, but she couldn't form any of the words. The amazing thing about Hatter, was that he took away her control, without ever really noticing. He'd have been surprised if told that she was helpless, even in these passionate throws. After all, he'd do anything for her, anything she wanted... surely that meant she was in charge? Right? The problem was that until he did it, Alice had no real idea what she wanted... She didn't know, until after he'd nipped at her ear just hard enough to get her attention, that that was what she'd REALLY needed to get her revving... or that one index finger, softly circling her clit would drive her over the edge... not until after he'd done it.

The affect of Alice's climax was always the same... Hatter came straight after. Something about the inarticulate sounds that poured uncontrollably from her mouth just did him in. With a drawn out groan all his muscles spasmed "Guh..." unfortunately that included his right hand...

"AHH!" Alice landed hard, half on Hatter's lap and half on the floor of the shower as 'the sledgehammer' accidentally ripped out a not insignificant chunk of shower stall. Hatter landed hard on his own backside and, still huffing, looked at her sheepishly.

For a long minute it looked like she might yell at him... but the combination of orgasmic high, stupid situation and the contrite look on his face sent her into fits of giggles. "Oh Hatter," she laughed, "I do love you."

A slight tickle of lips against her neck made her laughter trail off quite suddenly. "Say it again..." Hatter whispered against her skin, his left hand was walking it's fingers up her thigh lightly enough and suggestive enough to make her shiver.

"Mmm... I love you." She smiled as he sucked in a breath, as though the words themselves were a caress nuzzled his face down towards her breast, his hand brushing up lightly between her legs.

"Again... say it again..." He sucked a nipple into his mouth and flicked it with his tongue, one long slender finger tickling it's way inside her, making her shift her hips and moan.

"I love you..." it was getting breathy, softer but somehow more forceful and Hatter continued to touch her, more firmly and somehow more demanding, as though he forever wanted her to equate loving him with orgasm... hell he probably did.

"Oh God..." He groaned and hiked her up into his lap, maneuvering her legs around his waist so he could lean back against the tiles and hold her on top of him. He kept his right fist tightly clenched as he wrapped that arm around her to hold her steady while continuing to touch her, more demandingly now, with his left hand. "Alice, again."

She was getting past it now, past that point in the proceedings where speaking in anything that even resembled English was possible. She tangled her fingers in his hair and forced him to look up at her,pressed her forehead to his and moaned "I love you" against his mouth.

With a strangled groan he kissed her back and shifted her forward to lower her down around him. Her fingers tightened, it pulled a little bit that didn't matter, as he took a hold of her hip with his left hand to help her move. Walking would be an issue later, she could tell but funnily enough it wasn't a huge concern...

"Ungh," Hatter pulled back and moved his hips as best he could, his eyes squeezed shut tightly and the now somewhat cooler water seeming to evaporate off his boiling skin the moment it hit. "Please... Alice..." She moved her legs until she rested on her knees, put her hands on his shoulders and held him still... she had her control back... Below her he gasped and moaned, begged while she rode him, faster than usual and more aggressively.

"Say it." She ground out, slowing slightly and hoping he wouldn't see that it was a bluff... there would be no stopping. Not now!

"ungh, I love you... Oh God I love you," once he'd said it, it was like he couldn't stop, he whimpered and moaned it, he gasped it and stammered it... finally as her orgasm rung him out and finished him he practically screamed it, gripping her hip tightly with his left hand and leaving bruises and dents in the palm of his right where he clenched it tightly.

The shower is not a comfortable place for post coital snuggling... specially when you're out of hot water and there are bits of broken tile about the place.

"I'll fix it..." Hatter said at last, looking at the chunk he'd ripped out of the shower stall.

"Mmm... whole thing needs replacing anyway." She mumbled, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder... "How long do you think it'd take to tear the whole thing down?" she asked without looking up.


End file.
